first thing first.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOW CHOU KIN! wonderful maid :]

today had BRD quiz and i barely made it. the questions i studied for, i dont have the luck to get that paper. i got another one that i BRIEFLY read thru. it took my life. but kc was worse. he never study for that particular question i think. 5% only! its alrite!

(this is the only consolation i can give myself)

apel was time-wasting again. ill cut short and say, me donghao chinkuan and chinkuan groupmate and ck went for pizza for small celebration. the rest couldnt make it cos got PJ, got CM Forum, got this and that. so there will be a make up celebration on coming tuesday. make yourselves free friends. after pizza is starbucks. chinkuan donghao ask embarrassing questions. i wun reply them next time. homed early, cos ck got another celebration to rush to. clubbing again and again.

to ck: stop clubbing so much. pubs and bars sound like nice places to go.

so quit club, join pubs and bars.

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yesterday was dinner with h9 girls. was already damn hungry. but i endure until 7plus! :] usual food, wonderful company, fixed price. haha. another dinner soon ah h9. and and. jazreel chong suet mun left half way. at least she came. so this time borderline passed. haha. blue! when you stayed fully, den will be GREEN! try harder! you can do it! maybe the next gathering, we are deciding on either chalet, OR hotel room. start to think abit ah! den ill ask you all when time comes. price of course is split among us as well. :]:]

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started on New Moon and i cant stop reading on and on.. :D

another thing, LTA only giving 1ooo :[ i thot got 2ooo.

after hearing the good news at 12noon, i couldnt sleep anymore :]:] :D

LTA BOOK PRIZE 2ND! $2000 for the group!

its not only for the money, but also for the MP/SIP grading!

angry.

im still staring at the lecture notes, not touching it.

FUCK!

just get some motivation to study la bao!!!

i fail my first quiz. altho i really see it coming, but still feel abit sad about it. cos i actually know which formula to use. just that i use all the wrong information. i shd actually pass this quiz de. this is really bad. i only got 5marks out of 30. meaning, 0.8% of total.

:(

hopefully i wun fail anymore quizes.

the coming week will be busy.

tomorrow: project judging, study for the coming quiz.

thursday: NetSec Quiz 1, dinner with h9 at 85

friday: BroadBand Quiz 1. rest time!

just bought NewMoon :] i shall finish it in 1week too!!

sometimes i wonder how good a friend i am to others.

or how bad a friend i actually am.

do i look like someone that doesnt need good best friends?

bahh.

i wanted to study, but i took my book out, i started doing everything but study.

i wanted to do some reading, but i have not bought new moon.

i wanted to do so many things but i just let one day past like that.

feels like im wasting my life away.

I GONNA FINISH READING TILL CHAPTER 4 BY TODAY!

still having sore throat. :(

whole day having sore throat.

after all the heart-wreaking weeks, the best news i got this month is that..

joan had my 60bucks facial wash retrieved!

i thot i will have it gone like forever. but thanks. :]

goodnite.

yesterday was singing after school with junhao amanda and wankian. 6 to 9. was trying out on how to sing using that stomach area. hahhaha! sounds more powerful but not enuff air ah. i always like singing with them, cos we make fun of each other, we off tune together. :]:]

at night was mahjong with junhao lynn and elton. played 2 rounds until 130am and decided to send them home. drove the car and sent elt lynn home. after that went to pick fishy and jonathan, and we went to hc house to meet some of the rest. after that, around 3am went for supper at my house there de nice to eat bar chor mee :] after supper, sent devin and roy home, and went home with junhao fishy and jonathan. thats all! slept at 5plus with jonathan snoring~ woke up 2plus tho. damn early.

today send yunru home from chalet, cos i was going to fecth junhao anyway. and and damn sad. angry with myself! why did i even beat the red light! fuck fuck fuck fuck. tarrot is seriously right. im not down on gambling luck. but im down on this kind of everyday life de luck. crap. hopefully that was just a normal camera flash and no leeters will be sent to me. if not i have to -12 points, meaning left 1point :[ and i have to wait till april before getting back all my points. emo. just when im trying to get used to the car, to driving, i just had to be real careful with everything with the car now. another mistake from me will means revoke license and means re-taking tests and everything.

maybe i should stop driving until next april.

IM REALLY STUPID!

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i think im sick.

flu.

sore throat.

feverish feeling.

goodnite.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GY02xFU_cSc&feature=related

wonderful song. (got time go and listen)

will usually get sad after listening to this song over and over again.

brings back some memories of certain somone.

HA.

why humans arent given special powers?

life is miserable. we are born to die eventually. whats the whole point of living? (i have no intention to die la) just a thought. be happy everyday is so important to me right now. i will try to do whatever that make myself happy. and everyone should. of course at the same time, keep a look out on how's people feeling when youre happy, cos they might be unhappy because of your happiness. but if they are not happy cos youre happy, den its called selfish.

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today's quiz is 100% fail. wun even give myself a 1% to deceive anyone. HAHA. its 1 question for 50min. and the question, i dont even know how to do the first part! actually i do, but i just used the wrong things. nevermind! 5% only. try harder next time round bao!

i was trying to type out the draft for ccom report. and it is really not easy to do the spacing the paragraphs, with the weird 1x2, 2x2 line spacing. fuck la! write one report, so precise with the linings and spacings for fuck?

school is boring. lucky weekends is coming already again :] hopefully there's swimming this week! pretty long never soak in water and have talks with the usual people already. and mahjong this week! since i donno when i wanted to play already. :]:]

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my future is still blur.

i like this photo of myself. altho looks slightly fat, but real life its not like that :]

this is also a reminder for myself to get the pictures from joan!

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today is boring. today i achieve nothing. today ive decided to put braces!

ugly for 2 years only!! can de can de can de!!!

went for a run in the night out of the blue.

but at night dint really perspire alot. running at night is cooling. should do that more often on my own. i also donno what got into me and made me went running tonight.

but i ran and walk and ran and walk again. hahaha! :] oh wells. first time after so long.

hoefully i can play mahjong tml, quite long dint play already.

goodnite!

after steamboat dinner just slack around and decided to play tarrot cards.

it was pretty accurate i guess for this month. all about the money issues.

firstly, its about my past days. i was pretty much influenced by something. this is true. i really suddenly inspired by all the good singers and those that can play good musical instruments. people like wanglihong, s.h.e, jaychou, ah xin....

next, im thinking of the money that im gonna be using, cos i really have a list of things to do.

1. deciding on putting bracers

2. deciding on buying a keyboard

3. deciding on getting a instructor to teach me piano

4. deciding on which music school to go to after grad w grace.

next. its my current situation. that is my luck is currently going down. this is also pretty true. soccer is constantly back to losing streak, and thats why im cutting down on it.

i dont really understand the back part, just that i was said to be good at decisions. and i dont take sides in a quarrel. thats something good i guess. :]

ccn day this year is totally boring. nothing much to anticipate. i was still hoping to take long walks for like and hour or so, but seriously nothing to walk at all and i went back to lab by 20min. waited for steven lee to come and see the project. and as usual, all the bad comments. but also as usual, i dont really take in everything he said. if i were to take in everything, i think i might die like.. soon. good thing is that ill definitely pass sip. thats what he guaranteed. anyway, im not really into the computer's lifestyle. i still prefer to do things that i like. had a future talk with ben and kc in the morning during breakfast and ive also decided..

therefore! skipping the 9 to 5 working life for sure.

singing sounds like something great and fun to do. (if i can)

tour guide also sounds pretty fun.

designer is always my dream as well.

but life will not go accordingly to your way. so ill see about it again!

just went singing 3-6 with idy kc andy and ben. but kc and andy had to leave early. so left me and ben and idy to sing for the last 1hour. hahahahaha. and what? the last 1 hour, no need choose song de, all the songs andy chose, came out. used to it!

yes andy! all your songs you never get to sing we had to delete. haha. all LJJ!

today's voice is not at the best. quite dry and hoarse, but luckily the last song was perfectly done with no offtunes and offpitches! :]:]

hopefully next friday got to go sing again. haha. cos i really still feel like singing.

i reach hanchih house at 615, and still waiting for everyone to reach here (705pm le) before starting on the steamboat. it was a random last minute steamboat thing. but quite long no steamboat at home liao. usually only during newyears. so.. good dinner ahead later!

hope they sees this right now!! i want to play mahjong :]:]:]

the internet got cut off 3 times!! i better post now.

tuesday i was abit over-dressed i think. everyone went asking me...

"wah, going to ROM?"

"where are you going later?"

"i dont believe you are not going out after school"

but the truth is, the weather was cold and i decided to wear a new long sleeve i just bought but never got a chance to wear, and to go with this tshirt, i think a close-to-white long pants will match it and i wore it. den i notice if i wear my everyday converse shoes, it will look weird. so i change to those nicer shoes. and to go with it, i have to wax my hair alittle. thats all! :]

was also trying hard to get people to go out with me after school, cos since i was dressing alil nicer and i have no school on wednesday. finally found lynn. thanks buddy. :] we went for a short walk at tm while thinkinf of what to eat. went cs eventually, thinking of going for the soup restaurant. but when reach there, saw the chinese restuarant beside, and ponder for awhile before making our choice.

nice dinner.

went home after dinner and chit-chatting. i fell asleep in the bus, but luckily wake up just at my stop. i dont usually fall sleep in bus de. but i guess im really tired that day.

tml got nothing on in the atfernoon again. no one wants to go out. forget it! lazy to ask liao. so i decided to go running myself. if not ill just sleep through the day. :] good idea. (Y)

there's a project report on Networt Security that has to be handed in on friday and and and i haven touch the report yet! omg. there's like alot of things to know you know?!

web authentication methods.

vulnerabilities.

problem with that.

cos i have been watching youtube the whole day! ive always said that youtube quality not good not good, but first time i spent the whole day watching those clips. basically on..

HITO radio, S.H.E, 王力宏, 楊丞琳, 康熙来了.

see myself spending the night doing that report......

dint go suntec with lynn they all to go buy keyboard, cos the weather made me tooooo lazy to go out. so maybe another day bah! go find kc for keyboards also can :]

i had a dream.

weird one.

i dreamt of the guy friends i have now and guy friends i previously (ac, wk that group) had.

its like a scene that happened years ago and re-enact all over again but this time together with my all current friends. it was somehow different cos it seems that im the only one concern and im the only one showing temper. what a lousy feeling.

hope it doesnt turns out that way real life.

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i suddenly got the urge to set myself a goal...

at the age of lets say 25, ill go around the world to help those people that needs help.

thats of course when im financially and physically and mentally strong.

life is easy enough for all of us already. in fact....

we have clothes to wear, but we are still grumbling they arent nice.

we are able to go school study, but complaining everything is boring.

we are able to eat full every meals, but still being picky about the food.

we have beds blankets to sleep in, but complaining they arent comfortable.

we have entertainments like tv, computer, and still complaining its not enough.

many more....

if you were to do comparison, all of our lives are good, considering you can still come online to read this post.

many parts today

LOVE THIS SONG now!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTYHG6wX7uc&feature=related

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;

When troubles come and my heart burdened be;

Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,

Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up… To more than I can be.

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i suddenly got the urge the passion and the rush to learn piano. so! from now ill start from the basics of sitting up real straight without hunching my back. next will be getting a keyboard and a private teacher. after that learn how to read notes until like read words.

THIS TIME I WILL MAKE IT! 3 YEARS DOWN THE ROAD YOU SEE I PLAY LIKE BEETHOVEN DEN LATER YOU WILL GET INSPIRED BY ME!

by the time you learn, you will be too late! hahahahaha. cannot catch up with me anymore~

ohh by the way, im gonna learn classicals and pop music. wah. next time you see me playing at ballrooms, grand hotel with grand pianos. den you get jealous den you wan to learn, den its too late again!! hahaha. den cannot catch up with me again. :]:]

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since i have not work out my future, i think i have the right to dream alittle. :D

being a damn good singer

OR

a good designer where people will come find me auto de

OR

stay home play stocks and just keep winning and buy house and invest

OR

opening my own shop selling whatever that is sellable.

everything seems to be able to work out. :] but singing seems to be the most fun. always see myself opening concert den i ask all my friends come and hear and i sing until everyone cry. ya la my dreams only la. :] as if any of you will cry.

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today was LTA presentation. wasnt that nervous as i think i might be. haha. i think i did a great job about talking my part. at least they laughed alil. lucky the LTA people all seems to be friendly. not gonna tell you why, but we are definitely getting something from LTA! i hoped. raining weather that makes people wan to sleep. so after presenting, went back to school to get alil things done and went home to sleep. wah. wanted to sleep until tml de. but hungry and woke up eventually. thats how i get slightly fatter.

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lastly, i just want to say thanks to all my friends that are always there or tries to be there and also trying to cheer me up when i feel lonely sad emotional or whatever negatives.

so this song is dedicated to those that are my friends...

H9 2004

The Guys 2004

F601 2006

TEF 2008

Poly Schoolmates 2006 - 2008

there's never a time limit or ending to our friendship.

you will just need to take 1 step, and ill take the other 99 to reach you.

i cherish.

And I never thought I'd feel this way

And as far as I'm concerned

I'm glad I got the chance to say

That I do believe I love youAnd if I should ever go away

Well, then close your eyes and try to feel

The way we do today

And then if you can remember

Keep smilin', keep shinin'

Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure

That's what friends are for

For good times and bad times

I'll be on your side forever more

That's what friends are for

(if you do not know the song and wants to know, ask me. ill send you.)

smile.

no swimming today. :[

tmr got presentation. damn nervous.

happy 20th birthday wong kok chin!
happy 19th birthday lim yong chiang!

yesterday was kc's bday celebration. sort of. since chin kuan's on sunday, so together. all the old people. LOL. :] 11 of us went. also got last minute presents for them. the same buffalo like mine. also got lynn her belated present. (feels like santa you know) one year passed damn fast. thinking back, its just like weeks before we visited seoul garden for last year's birthday. see!

click to see what i write! wahahahaha. :]

anyway. as i was saying. time flies. everyone changes. physically, mentally. this year i dint take picture with the cake. cos i think i need to be more mature with cakes. LOL. :] oh! they found a cockroach on the table after out dinner, and they (donghao chinkuan) demand an explantion. BUT! deep down they want the discount only la. hahaha. in the end 15% off and 6 complimentry scoops of ice cream.

actually their service is not very good. why? because..

got cockroach.

ask for bill, never come.

dessert was served pretty slowly.

say everyone will have ice cream, only 6 got.

after the dinner at billy bomers (the brownie is good), i took a bus straight to siglap. met joan jodin 2 amandas at cartel. the rest werent there. so next time dont call it the h9 outing. call it a small gathering. JAZREEL CHONG SUET MUN dint turn up in the end also. (2nd time in red, you know ah.) took some stupid shots thru the cups and apply salt to ulcer for 2 amandas. dint really get to talk much and left shortly. joan was feeling ill. yup. just pop that pill into your mouth and sleep. the next day will get well already.

today is saturday! and i woke up 11am and read twilight.

HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THAT I FINISH THE BOOK ALREADY! I CAN SEE GREEN TEAS AND MOGUMOGU COMING TO MY HOUSE. BOOK2!

today's plan is dinner movies.

tomorrow hopefully no rain got sun.

this week still hasnt been lenient to me.

mood still quite sucks
still losing
nothing good to be exact.

i just gonna give myself an excuse of i dont understand to cover everything. well. this feeling that comes, was here years ago. and i think i know how to cure it.

the only good thing is that i have a book to accompany me when im seriously feeling empty. maybe thats also why i need the second book fast enough. crap.

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school-ed today. because my parents went overseas yesterday and will be back only on saturday, i have to wake up earlier den i have to, to take the bus there. and yes, ill have the car to myself to saturday, but dont ask me to drive, cos if i dont have the mood to, i dont have. SO decided not to drive, cos i still really dont like to drive in the afternoon with so many cars.

went home straight after school cause i couldnt find anyone to go out with. i just need a presence of a person beside me la. couldnt find. ck wanted to ask me go suntec together with her friends. but utlimately ill be the one feeling damn weird there. altho i know i can cope with that pretty well. but nope! not going. no mood for singing. sorry ck. :]

LTA presentation is coming and im almost prepared with my introduction already. hope that nothing will go wrong and also hope that we will get something good out of this. of course resume will be nicer with this project and i just wish. wish that my mp/sip grades will be an A with this.

wish for better week.
good luck to me.
bye to you.

yesterday i read another 2 chapter of the book. CHAPTER 10 already! free green tea and mogu coming on tuesday! every night i will really read the book.. and i seriously seriously SERIOUSLY think that i need another book very soon. best is the part 2 of twilight! ill get it myself tho. :]

i cant wait for christmas present. so maybe the 3rd book for christmas might be good. *hint* *happy 3 friend*

wednesday i usually no need come school. just today. i swear.

im in school from 11am till now. this is because of a mock presentation that im suppose to have at 330. it lasted 3 full hours. good time spent tho. nothing too serious and tense. just that i need to brush up my already good english. :]:]

going for dinner soon. just that have to wait for that FOREVER slow MA HAN CHIH. yes. usual.

I CANT ADD COLOUR OF CHANGE THE FONT SIZE OR DO ANYTHING TO THIS POST. ok. just end it this way.

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bear with it for those who are still having mp/sip. this will end very shortly in a blink of eye. bite your lips and run together hand in hand. after mp/sip it will be FREEDOM. its the first phrase of working life that most people will go through.

TAKE CARE MANY MANY. i still care.

BECAUSE OF A BET WITH JOAN AMANDA AND JUNHAO, I GONNA STAY HOME WHOLE DAY DOING NOTHING BUT READ MY TWILIGHT.

DEN. AFTER 1 WEEK.

TOTAL OF...

13 CANS OF HEAVEN AND EARTH GREEN TEA

+ MOGU MOGU BOTTLE.

thats why im working hard on my storybook :]

** update for you! im at chapter 4 already! 20 more to go~

this week. last week. theyy are bad weeks.

emotional barriers.
losing streaks.
anger.

fucked up life basically.

im just giving myself trouble by doing all these.

hate it.

friday was a grumpy and angry day. went to buy jodin's present at raffles place. they are surely not on time. and the they are LI ZHEYANG, LIEW JUNHAO, AMANDAWONGHUIMIN. i know im also always late last time. but i just hate to wait for people. get used to it or get away from me. suppose to meet 330, all still on the way. somemore want to eat lunch before meeting me. so i just go to the lab and see abit on flyers and my project.

LTA project got chosen and need to go for second round interview 10november! scared.

went to meet them 4plus and walked like the whole place to find watches. in the end we dint get watch. actually the whole time i was not feeling very good. i got irritated and just got shortfused. every little thing can just make me darn angry like for real angry. in the end got cologne that i think jodin likes. went to bookstore to see books. and i finally got a book to read. TWILIGHT. yes. the vampire book. i feel slightly better after going to the bookstore. took some stupid photos with self timer.

later in the night, went timbre with ngiam and her classmates and zy junhao. the whole story i dont wan to talk about it. again i was angry. but anyway, the band was good. wednesday and friday can go there listen to them. they are called the goodfellas.

saturday was jodin's celebration at a faraway place. went early with wilbur and amanda by cab. not many reached already at that time, only those closer ones. later in the night, slowly more and more people came. played games, eat eat eat, talking. the damn cool thing is they self roast a pig and a lamb. damn big. anyway went out at 11plus to catch a glimpse of chelsea match, but the pubs outside all never show. got some food and ate and talk and went back. 1plus went out again for liverpool's match.

WARNING. DONT AGITATE ME WITH THE LOSS. I MIGHT GET REALLY ANGRY.

all pubs closed already and couldnt stay and watch. went back the house again. in the end we played drinking games and i learnt another new game. the betting horse game. damn cool~ played with amanda joan jodin zy junhao ngiam jessybessy john andrew tatyi. i found people that will get damn red like me when they drink. but of course im still the most red one la. john and zheyang will get red too. played till 3plus and went off to bathe and wash up. me amanda and junhao decided to not sleep and went to the living room. but whatever la, they just lie down talk awhile, sleep -.- i had to stay away till 6plus and good thing the maid woke up and pass me a sleeping bag :D worth the wait! went back to the room to sleep and ended sleeping till 10plus and still dont wan wake up. HAHAHA. tired like dog.

i left my 60bucks facial wash there!! :[:[ im still damn sad about it.

ate noodles for breakfast and took the long trip home with amanda joan junhao zy ngiam tatyi. talk about camps and tests and people. oh wells. after that changed to 196 and we started another convo with ngiam. went home with joan and junhao. decided to watch movie, but i fall asleep halfway. joan too! still quite drained from the birthday. citi had a big cut on her thumb. i can even feel the pain by seeing it. OUCH.

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if you want to be a happier person, you just need to tell yourself to be happy and not be bothered about stupid things that people are trying to do to you.

if friends are not meant to be, den they are not meant to be.

if you think you put in enough effort to hold that friendship, den you did. its their part that they are not giving the amount they should be.

i treasure ONLY those that puts in effort together with me.

i know who ad i know what. i just dont wan to say out my unhappiness.